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Conflicting advice? We’re sending help!

Making a major decision is never an overnight task, especially if it can change the course of your life forever. Crossroads like these compel us to ask for help from people we trust. One of these crossroads is choosing the right career path.

But, what do you do when you get conflicting advice? How do you know who to listen to?

First thing’s first! You should know that getting conflicting advice is a good thing. It means you’re asking the right questions to get relevant advice. If you’re not getting conflicting advice, you’re probably not asking good questions, or downright asking the wrong people.

Who should I ask advice from?

Before heeding advice, always consider your source. Here are a few tips to filter out who you should be listening to.

People with experience

Let experience speak for itself. In making career choices, make sure you look into the experiences of the people you talk to. If your goal is to become a superstar in Public Relations or PR, put more weight on the advice of someone already successful in this industry as opposed to your uncle who owns a car shop.

People who know you

Sometimes making decisions shake us to the core, and that’s why you need people who know you. People who know you understand what matters to you. They’d know if you’re deciding because of a situation you’re in. They’ll also know if you’re acting out of an authentic belief or not. These are people who are ready to remind you of your core, if necessary.

It’s important to listen to people who understand where your decision-making is coming from. Putting things in context is a very big help.

People who aren’t afraid to tell you the truth

Speaking of context, Kim Scott, Google and Apple’s former executive and CEO coach, came up with the idea of Radical Candor. It’s about personally caring for someone whilst directly challenging them.

People who can apply this ideology are people you should be seeking advice from. These people care for you enough to understand where you’re coming from and believe in you enough to challenge you to step up.

Truth is, most people are uncomfortable to say the hard truth out loud. But when you’re seeking advice for detrimental decisions, you’ll need someone willing to tell you what you need to know without it being an attack on your character. How do you determine this? Be on the lookout for relevant, actionable steps.

What should I listen to?

It’s one thing to listen to advice and learn from it, but another to do it. Here are a couple of things you should consider before taking action.

Take what you need

Remember, no matter how successful people are, they’re still people and they don’t hold the Absolute Truth. People give advice based on what they know and what they’ve been through. While it’s always nice to have a lot of advice from experienced individuals, not all will be applicable to you.

Learn to factor in their experiences and discern if it’s something relevant to you.

You don’t have to do everything.

Just listen to everyone and pick out the best and most helpful parts that work for your situation.

Go back to your goal

In the military, there’s a term they call the commander’s intent. This is the idea of knowing and understanding your end goal and making decisions based on what gets you there. It means you have to make decisions with your eyes on the mission and not the people you’re talking to.

When it comes to life, no amount of planning will ever be enough. Having a plan is a good thing, but it shouldn’t be set in stone. If anything, a plan should merely be a framework for your decisions. When you feel shookt by all these choices, it’s best to go back to your goal.

Ask yourself: what choice will get you there better?

Note to self: If it doesn’t move you towards your goal, it’s moving you away from it.

It’s your call

Check in with your gut. Every decision you’ll make, whether life-changing or not, is backed up by your core values. Recognize if a decision upholds the values that are true to you or not.

Does it make you better? Can you live with the implications it will come with? Is it authentic to your beliefs? At the end of the day, only you will have to work around the consequences of these decisions. So make sure you’re 100% in when making major life decisions and are 100% ready for whatever comes with it.

Above all, remember that situations always change. Meaning you’ll do well not setting anything in stone.

Whether in life, your academics, or relationships, learn to love boldly, but love freely. You can believe in something with passion without closing your mind off to other ideas. You are allowed to change your mind at any time.

In fact, let the world change your mind because doing so is the only way you can ever grow and actually know.

If you’re feeling conflicted about what you really want, you can also check out our Career Conversations page and read more about the career paths you’re choosing from. We hope we shed a little bit of light on the path you might want. Edukasyon.ph is here for you!