The pressure to raise children these days have gone over the roof with the changing culture and the society’s over-the-top expectations– not to mention the constant nagging of la amigos and amigas on how your unico hijo/hija’s doing lately.
Although there are different parenting styles suited for every child, there are certain things they would just rather not hear from you… at all.
Skim through our list to check if you’re guilty of one (or all)!
“Back in our days…”
Yes, your child knows that you’ve experienced so much in this lifetime and they can count on you for life lessons they would rather not learn the hard way. Trust me, they’re more than grateful for it! But telling tale-old stories of your golden days as if saying it’s the same thing now? It. is. not. Time changes so what might have worked then won’t necessarily work this time around.
“The reason why it’s happening is…”
There’s always more to a story than what children tell their parents. Likewise, there’s more than one way to get from point A to point B. When things happen, jumping into conclusions is not the way to go. After all, all’s been done. What makes you think blaming someone or something can make the situation any better? Your child would’ve felt bad about it long enough anyway so there’s no need to rub salt into the wound.
“Why don’t you be more like…”
Sure, there would be a whole list of role models your child can emulate. However, the last thing every person wants is to be compared. So the same thing is true for your child! Whenever you blurt out names you wish he/she could be more of, it would often come across as if saying “you are not good enough”. Although comparing your child to others might push him/her to try harder, results coming out from this wrong motivation almost always end up doing more harm than good.
“You should have been more…”
When your child fall short of target, the least you can do as a parent is not to invalidate the efforts he/she put in. For starters, you may never know how much time, energy, and who-knows-what your child sacrificed just to get things done. While your child could have possibly done better, let the room for improvement always be the biggest room in your house.
“Because you’re like this…”
Putting labels on goods gives it value– like how you assume your latest diet’s all good because it’s organic or bad if it has too much calories. Your child, however, has a name so there’s no need to label with words that could possibly degrade their *already* fluctuating sense of self-worth. Since identity and action are two different things, there is no need to meddle the two altogether.